How to Know if Your Partner is Having an Affair 


Trust is essential to any relationship, but it is not that easy to achieve. Sometimes, even in a long-time, committed relationship, red flags arise. Your partner is suddenly absent-minded, having unusual business trips, or odd phone calls in the middle of the night. You’ve caught one or two lies or conflicting information, and you are suddenly wondering: Is he/she cheating? While the first recommendation would be to have an open and honest conversation, sometimes it is not so easy. So, how to be certain? There are several ways to find out.


Use an Online Service

Many online services allow you to verify information such as known addresses and marital status. One of the best ones is Check People. By entering some basic information such as location and name, you get an array of facts that range from criminal records to social media accounts –and even dating sites–.

Pay attention to Appearance Changes

Is your partner suddenly more preoccupied with their looks than before? Have they currently purchased new outfits, or dramatically changed their hairstyle? New, and atypical underwear? Some of these changes may indicate that they are having an affair and trying to look better for someone new. If they act nervous or hostile when you signal these changes (“I am not able to change my look?” “Can’t I have nice things?”) it can signal guilt.

Mood Changes and Hostility Towards Your Relationship

Does your significant other seem suddenly very angry at you? Or are they “surprising” you with flowers or other unusual presents? (this can be a sign of guilt feelings). Significant mood swings and a sense of hostility to you may signal that they are feeling better with someone else and cannot find the best way to end things with you.

Changes in Schedule

Your partner told you they had a meeting at 10, but you call the office and they tell you the meeting changed. Suddenly, they have more business trips than ever before. They seem to be having a lot of problems that affect their commitments (car problems, unexpected calls from their boss, etc). They become forgetful of important events (birthdays, anniversaries). People who are cheating have a very hard time remembering things because they are usually busy finding excuses for their odd behaviors.

Secretive Use of Electronic Devices

Suddenly, your partner gets very angry at you if you glimpse over their computer while they are using it. They never leave their phone around you, and they change their passwords. They need to step outside to answer conversations, or they are smiling to themselves while chatting with someone, but refuse to share the contents of their conversation. All these attitudes can strongly signal that someone is having an affair.

Financial Problems and Unusual Expenses

The credit card statement is significantly higher than ever. Suddenly, you feel that your partner never has money when they usually did. Missed utility payments, high restaurant bills, and other out-of-character expenses and spending patterns are important clues that may mean they are cheating, especially if they deny these changes or get defensive when you bring them up.

Uncomfortable Friends

Suddenly, your partner’s best friend, with whom you had a very good relationship, can’t look you in the eye. They seem uncomfortable around you and evasive when you try to talk. Sometimes, friends can be aware of a cheating situation and won’t be able to come clean, but also feel guilty towards the other party. An important change in a good friend’s attitude can mean they know something that they are not able to disclose. Sometimes, even your close friends may seem uncomfortable. It is not easy to tell someone you love that their partner is cheating, so they may seem evasive and nervous around you. If you feel this is the case, confront them, and be open about your own doubts.

While all the above scenarios can mean someone is cheating, the best way to find out is to ask directly. Sometimes, people stay in a relationship because they don’t know how to get out, and they don’t want to hurt you. It is very important not to make assumptions. Sometimes, even when all the symptoms indicate an affair, there can be other reasons for changes in the relationship (work problems, family issues, etc).

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How to Know if Your Partner is Having an Affair 
is essential to any relationship, but it is not that easy to achieve. Sometimes, even in a long-time, committed relationship, red flags arise.
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